There’s an interview I still remember (and not for the right reasons).

The candidate broke down. She was crying. And it was my fault.

I was intense. Sharp. Focused. Digging deep into answers. Testing for resilience, ownership, accountability.

I pushed hard, thinking it would reveal something useful.

And it did. But not about them.

What I saw later, was that I wasn’t creating a space for them to be real. I was testing people, interrogating them, not creating a safe space to get to know them.

Yes, I made hires this way. But something was always off. People didn’t stay as long. They didn’t thrive. They didn’t trust the process and they didn't trust me.

Eventually, I realised why.

I was running a hiring process that made sense in my head but not in the real world.

Let me break down what I changed.

What I Got Wrong (And What I Changed)

  1. Pressure ≠ Insight I believed pressure would reveal the truth. But high pressure often reveals anxiety, not ability.
  2. Intensity ≠ Clarity I thought being intense made interviews more rigorous. But it often clouded judgment.
  3. Testing ≠ Trust I tested people because I thought it helped them prove themselves.
  4. Hires ≠ Retention Sure, I filled roles. But I didn’t retain the best talent.

Final Thought

I used to think I was running a tough, no-nonsense hiring process.

Turns out, I was just making it harder for great people to shine and driving them away from what felt like a toxic culture.

The lesson? Clarity is stronger than intensity. And if you want signal, start by building trust.

Want to know more?

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